Blog

The Impact of Negativity On A Relationship And Working Through It

A relationship impacted by negativity.

In distressed relationships, couples tend to fixate on their partner’s negative characteristics. As a result, small things feel dangerous. Neutral interactions feel threatening to the relationship.

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How To Cripple Your Marriage With Bad Communication: Stonewalling (Part 4)

Stonewalling is a way to avoid conflict. It’s an avoidance strategy that creates an emotional wall between you and your partner.

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How To Cripple Your Marriage With Bad Communication: Contempt (Part 2)

A marriage improves over time as partners learn better ways to communicate. John Gottman, in his research, discovered patterns of communicating that he used to predict which marriages will succeed, and which will fail.

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How To Cripple Your Marriage With Bad Communication: Criticism (Part 1)

Healthy communication in marriage is a skill. You learn to talk freely. You learn how to stay in difficult conversations. You learn to talk in a way that brings your partner close. You learn to reconnect in how you express frustrations.

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Why Your Partner is Withdrawing During Conflict In The Relationship

Chronic withdrawal leaves a relationship deprived, and partners lonely. The withdrawn partner feels arguing is not worth the trouble. He or she talks less, finds reasons to leave for work early, and goes to bed later. The relationship grows in distress with each passing day. 

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3 Steps To Regain Confidence In Your Relationship

Couple in a confident marriage.

There are times in marriage when you feel separate rather than together, and more chaos than peace. Oftentimes in distressed marriages, couples tend to lose confidence that their partner cares.

Does she still care about me? Does he care about us?

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Start Here

Welcome!

Thanks for visiting.

What I write about on this site is designed to help couples intentionally reconnect! My goal is to help you be more intentional about improving your marriage.

But first, a little about who I am. 

Who Are You?

I have been married for 13 years. We have two kids (11 and 6).

The only live TV I watch is college basketball (Go Duke!), the NFL, and the NBA. I like binge watching. I hate snakes. I love riding bike trails, when I have the time. I love almost anything peanut butter and chocolate. I can spend hours detailing my car. 

And I will die on this hill: turkey bacon is a travesty! Ok — a little dramatic. 

Why Should I Trust You?

Good question. Yes, I am a licensed clinician. Yes, I work with couples, professionally. And yes, I have been married for 13 years. 

And yet, that doesn’t mean you should just trust me. 

I’ll gain your trust through my writing, as well as, my authenticity, consistency, and grappling with relationship challenges. 

Life isn’t black and white. We live in a complex world. We exist in complex relationships. I can offer what makes a marriage tick, and how you can reconnect with your partner, but it still may need to be molded to fit your relationship.

With that said, I’m good with earning your trust.

Why Should I Read Your Blog?

Why wouldn’t you? It’s line by line of pure, unadulterated goodness!

Just kidding.

Seriously, my blog is not for everyone. I will be writing for those of you feeling as if your relationship is lacking the spark it once had. I will be writing for readers in committed relationships who:

  • Are having difficulty connecting with his or her partner.
  • Are dealing with the discovery of an affair.
  • Are having trouble navigating difficult conversations.
  • Are tired of having the same argument over and over again.
  • Need someone to point them in the right direction.
  • Need to hear, “hey, it feels hopeless but you can get through this.”

Sometimes you forget how important you are to one another. I want to remind you of that.  As well as offer guidance and objectivity.

This is not a personal blog. You won’t find stories about what I ate for dinner, my favorite vacation spot, or bike trail adventures. 

You will find my personal touch, and my personality weaved in and throughout the posts, though. But, ultimately, my goal is to help couples like you reconnect. 

What Else Should I Know?

Join my weekly mailing list so you can receive new blog posts. You’ll also receive my helpful PDF “21 Listening Tips That Will Help You Reconnect With Your Partner.” 

Don’t worry, I won’t overwhelm your inbox. One post per week. Any emails outside of that will be few, and far between.

I welcome your emails. Email me your questions, and thoughts. I answer every single email.

Invite others — Send them the link to get my free PDF. Share blog posts on your social media platforms. 

How Do I Connect With You?

Is it just me, or does it often feel like when you submit information to those contact forms on websites, your information drops into a deep dark hole, never to be seen again? No? Just me?

Here’s how to connect directly with me…

What If I Want Couples Therapy?

It’s a real experience to sometimes become exhausted from ongoing cycles of distress with your partner. Your attempts to “fix it” fall short; followed by more negative interactions. 

At this point, your relationship becomes defined by resentment and distance. In couples therapy, my goal is to help you strengthen your connection, and rediscover how important you are to each other.

I see clients both in office and online, if you’re not local. For scheduling, you can contact me here, or get directly on my calendar here

Let’s Do It

I believe intimate relationships are important. They have the opportunity to offer emotional support for the ups and downs of life.

And, it sucks, when that important relationship has dwindled down to simply tolerating each other. Let me help you reconnect. 

“The world is less intimidating when you have another to count on, and know that you are not alone.” ~ Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight

Picture of Redonno Carmon

Bio

Hi, I’m Redonno Carmon

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I help people who want to feel connected with their spouse, but are buried under arguments, silence, and mistrust.

I guide them through the (sometimes difficult but always rewarding) process of understanding the reasons for their disconnection, so that they can reconnect and rebuild trust in each other. I know from working with couples that your hope in a secure, better relationship may be running on empty. I’d love to help you push through the fear of the unknown and rediscover connection, laughter and love.

How can I help you reconnect?

1. Communication: Have you given up with trying to communicate better? Do your arguments repeat themselves? Figuring this out is a step towards improving your relationship.

2. Emotional connection: Do you often feel like complete opposites? And wonder if you love each other anymore? How you tune into and respond to each other can create and strengthen your emotional bond.

3. Recovery from infidelity: Is recovery possible after an affair? How do you process the hurt after the truth comes out? Having a roadmap and a licensed therapist to walk with you is a great way to help your marriage recover and heal.

I believe that a stronger relationship is possible. I believe that healing is not out of reach. If you’re ready to reconnect with your partner, then sign up for my mailing list today.

If you’re ready to take it a step further, contact me here or schedule online here.

On a personal note…

I love thinking and talking about relationships, and how important partners are to each other (even when it doesn’t seem that way). Other than that, you can find me listening to 90s R&B and hip-hop, watching Duke basketball beat up on UNC, and hanging out with my wife and two kids.

If you’re curious about my credentials:

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (2040)

SYMBIS Certified Facilitator

Prepare-Enrich Certified Facilitator

M.S., Marriage and Family Therapy, Valdosta State University

How To Complain So That Your Partner Listens

Photo by Alex Holyoake on Unsplash

You can, probably, close your eyes, and find a flaw with your partner. Several? Something he or she said or did. You can talk about it to a tee. You could, if you were nudged a little, bring out the mental record book you secretly keep.

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You Will Argue In Your Relationship: Recovering Is What’s Important

Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash

If your relationship is like many others — you and your partner tend to avoid each other after an argument. After the yelling, and harsh words, most couples are glad it’s over. They would rather move on, and hope it doesn’t happen again. “I’m sorry” may pop up a few hours (or days) later to get things back on track.

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What To Expect After An Affair If You’re The Unfaithful

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

It’s out in the open — your spouse knows about the affair. Your life has fallen into disarray, highlighted by the intense emotions your partner is experiencing. You don’t know what to do, or where to start, as reality is starting to set in.

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